Salom saytdoshlar man bulani yozishdan oldin uzoq o'yladim chunki xich kimga xich qachon ichimdan nimalar o'tganini bildirmganman bugun sizlarga bu voqeani yozishga qaror qildim.
Usha paytlari birinchi kurs talabasi edim yaqin dug'onam Shaxlo ertalabdan qo'ng'iroq qildi Guli bugun ilojing bo'sa bizanikiga kegin uyda bugun akamlani tug'ilgan kunlari edi azgina yordam bergin didi dugonam oilada yagona qiz farzand bo'lganligi uchun bir birimizga doim yordam qo'lini cho'zardik, uni uyiga usha kuni yordamga bordim mexonlar juda ko'p edi asosan akasini do'stlari edi. Tabiatan quvnoq qiz bo'lganim uchun odamlar bilan juda tez chiqishib ketardim usha kuni akasini bir do'sti oshxonaga kirib burnidan qon oqayoganligi sababli shu yerda azgina o'tirib tursam bo'ladimi dim ruxsat so'radi man u bolaga yordam berdim burnini qonashi to'xtashi bilan u negadir uyiga ketib qoldi. shunda dugonam u bolani bir yaxshi oilani farzandi ekanligini va sevgan qizi turmushga chiqib ketganligini shundan keyin bu yigit xech qaysi qiz bilan xatto salom alik qilmasligini ayti. Bu voqea usha yerni o'zida esimdan chiqib ketdi va uyga ketdim. Oradan 2 xaftalar vaqat o'tganan keyin dugonam tel qilib Guli sani S surishtirvatti nomerini akamladan so'rabdi unga nima diganding urushib kemadilarmi dib so'radi man bu gapladan xayron bo'ldim chunki u bola mani nega qidirganini tushunmasidim, dugonamga tel nomerimni bermsigini tayinladim. Oradan bir xafta vaqt o'tdi bir kuni kollejdan chiqib kelayotsam oldimga oq neksiya kelib to'xtadi ichidan S tushib xuddi man bilan bilan bir umr tanish insondiy salomlashdi man uni bu qilig'iga tushunmaganligimni aytdim u bo'sa bugun mani uyimgacha kuzatib qoymoqchili va shu bilan birga man nbilan gaplashib olmoqchiligini aytdi. Man unga uni tanimasliginmi begona odamlarni moshinasiga chiqmasligimni aytdim u bo'sa unda yur ozgina yayov yuramiz didi man indamadim. U yo'lda ketgunicha o'zini oldin sevgan qizini 3 yil unga uylanish niyatida yurganini qiz esa 1 kursligidayoq boshqa bir yigitga unashtirilganini va usha yigitga turmushga chiqibketganini aytb berdi. Usha kuni u bilan uzoq galashdik shu kundan boshlab u xar kuni o'qishimga keladigan doim mani kuzatib qo'yadigan bo'ladi u doim san mani kichkina singlimsan dib etardi u oilada bittayu bitta farzand edi bizni do'stligimizdan oilalarimiz xabardor bo'lishdi mani oyim xali yoshligimni xali institutda o'qishim kerakligini bu do'stlashuvlarni yig'ishtirishimni aks xolda adamlaga etishlarini etdila. Man shu kundan boshlab o'qishga xam bormadim uydan xam chiqmadim telimni xam o'chirib qo'ydim bilardim agar o'qishga borsam u albatta mani ko'rgani kelaridi. bir xaftadan keyin telimni yoqdim oshxona oyim bilan o'tirgan edik telefonim jiringladi oyimladan ko'tarishlarini so'radim oyim kim bilandir quyuq salom alik qildila ancha gaplashdila kn manga berdila telni ko'tarsam S ni oyisi ekan nega o'qishga bormayapganliginmi S xar kuni o'qishimga borishini xech kim bilan gaplashmayotganligini aytdi oyisi agar xoxlasez xozir uyizga borib oyizdan o'zim ruxsat so'riman faqat o'g'limni qiynamang o'zi ancha siqilgan u mani yagona farzandim uni qiynalishini xoxlamiman didi. Shu kuni Sga o'zim tel qildim u bilan ertalabgacha gaplashdik boshqa bunaqa qilib yo'qolib qomasligimni iltimos qildi mani yoqtirishini aytdi. Man unga judayam o'rganib qoganidim lekin bilmasidim uni sevamanmi yo'qmi shu bilan o'qishni xam bitirdim uyam o'qishni bitirib tog'asini firmasiga ishga kirdi u endi Farmaseft edi bundan judayam xursand bo'ldim bilmagandim xali xamma yomon narsalar oldindaligini. Ertalabdan telefon jiringlashidan uyg'onib ketdim go'shakni ko'tarib Sni oyisi ekanligini bildim ular manga Sni uylantirayotganligini endi u bilan uchrashmasligimni man tufayli u boshqa qiz xaqida eshitishni xam xoxlamayayotganligini va manga qo'ng'iroq qilganini Sga aytmasligimni tayinladi. Usha kuni institutga xujjat topshirgani S mani olib ketishi kerak edi S keldi xar doimgidiy xursand edi man yo'l bo'yi bir og'iz xam gapirmadim u manga nima bo'lganini nega birdan o'zgarib qolganimni qayta qyta so'radi lekin unga bir nima tushuntiradigan axvoldamasidim chunki nima bo'layotganini xali o'zim tushunmaganidim Nizomiyga boganda o'qimiman dib turib oldim usha yerda u bilan urushib xujjatlarimni qaytarib uyga keldim. Oyisi uga nima digan bilmadim 2 xaftalar chamasi tel qimadi man xam xabar olmadim uydan ko'chaga chiqmadim alam qilib faqat yig'lardim. Bir kuni S tel qilib ertaga uylanayotganligini agar man uni sevsam ertaga o'rdaga kelishimni ayti u birga qochib ketishimizni rejalashtirganakan man bu ishni qilolmasim chunki oldimda ota onam sha'ni turardi. Man ishga kirdim o'zim bilan ovora bo'lib muammolardan chalg'idim oradan 3 oy vaqat o'tganidi bir kuni yana S qo'ng'iroq qildi uni ovozini shunaqangi sog'ingandim o'zimni tutaolmay faqat yig'lardim u bo'sa xotini bilan rasman ajrashganini agar man rozi bo'lsam manga uylanishi aytdi otam onam endi unga mani turmushga bermasligi aniq edi endi unga buni farqi yo'g'ligi agar man rozi bo'sam ota onamni oyog'iga yiqilib bo'sayam ko'ndirmochiligini aytdi. Man undan nafratlanishimni uni sevmasligimni boshqa ko'zimga ko'rinmasligini iltimos qildim. Adam unstitutda o'qishimni judayam xoxlardilar va iyun oyida mani o'zlari bilan Masskvaga olib keldilar o'qishga xujjatlarimni topshirdim nazarimda xamma narsa sekin asta iziga tushayotgandek edi bu safar man o'zim Sga tel qildim unga o'qishga kirganimni aytdim u xursand bo'ldi va Guli san o'qishni bitirib keguningcha man ishliman ikkalamiz uchun uy olaman didi agar uyga pulim yetmasa shu moshinamni sotaman san uchun xamma narsadan voz kechaman faqat san mani disen bo'ldi dib telni qo'ydi yana baxtli edim axir sevgan insonim man uchun xarakat qivottiku. 27 sentyabr kuni ro'zani oxirgi kunlari kechasi telim jiringlab qoldi go'shakni ko'tarsam S ni jiyani yig'kagan ovozda Guli o'zizi qo'lg oling Sni berib qo'ydik didi nima bo'lganini tushuna olmasdim xuddi tanam yo'qdek edi qaytarib yana tel qildim nima bo'ldi dib so'radim man sevgan insonim avtoxalokatda umurtqa pog'onasi sinib kechgi soat 1:25 da reanimtsiyada joni uzilganakan...
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